The Jolly White Giant

The giant. He said he was 6'5".

He wasn't kidding.

I think he may even have underestimated and I wondered more than once in the hour or so we spent together if at that daunting height you'd have to start each day with a multi-vitamin and a Dramamine just to fend off altitude sickness.

Points in his favor: He's quick-witted and we share the same dry humor. We went to a quiet, out of the way club, sat on a couch and barely noticed the other two people in the place. He had a martini and I had a Pinot Gris.

He was heading out of town for the weekend and said I'd definitely be hearing from him. Already he's sent a text, which is nice but...it's about the extent of his communications in writing. He prefers the phone. Hmmm. Call me too cerebral, but that was if not a deal breaker, at least something that caused a flagging in my own enthusiasm.

So there you go. A very nice guy, a nice evening -- but no real 'sparks'. Not that the first meeting should hit you with all the force of jamming a fork into an electrical outlet, but something like that. Call me a hopeless romantic but you know a connection when you make one.

OK, call me a hopeless romantic. I just haven't given up hope.

And really, the date wasn't totally unenjoyable. It was enjoyable. It just wasn't...like being mildly electrocuted and I guess that's more important to me than I realized or I would have gone home, logged on to Match and hidden my profile, not interested in meeting anyone further.

My neighbor Lainie could read it on my face as I came home. Psychic, I swear the girl is. She was on the front step smoking and texting somebody on her phone. Barely looked up and then, "Not the one, huh?"

"Nope." I dropped to the steps beside her. "Nope, but it wasn't all terrible or anything."

"Look," she said, "neither is a root canal but that doesn't mean you volunteer for one."

Lainie. The voice of reason.

We probably talked out there for thirty minutes, catching up on all her misadventures on the same site. I swear she's been in love four times and that's just since the first of the month. Lainie's unflappable. She knows what she wants and she's going for it one date at a time until she unearths Mr. Right like that perfect tulip bulb you'd missed during spring planting.

So she's off to Vegas with an old boyfriend on Wednesday because he's calling again and apparently she's forgotten why they ever broke up in the first place. I'm going to babysit Blue, her cat, and I'm looking forward to it. He's talkative, attentive, affectionate, and loyal.

If he were a man, I'd buy him dinner.